Tiger
A new version of Mac OS X gets released and not a peep from me? No way. There are critics, there are fanatics and then there is me. On the basis of my knowledge of every intricate detail regarding Apple Computer (Inc.), I not only pat myself on the back every so often (not physically of course) but have also won numerous computer quizzes, especially those that were mastered by little 11thy guys.
Now, if you are a Mac fanatic, you probably know everything this is to know about Tiger. It's the next major OS release by Apple, even though Paul Thurrott at WinSuperSite may say that it isn't major. It's not going to change the way you use your computer but, just like Florence Nightingale, it's "going to make everything better". All this is considering of course that you have a Mac with at least a G3 humming inside it (note:- processors do not actually hum). If, however, you happen to use an x86 machine (any processor released by Intel or AMD in the last decade) and installed on it you have a copy of Windows (or any other non-Mac operating system) you have three options (considering you want to have options at this stage): a) tell me about Longhorn and how it's going to kick Apple's ass, b) talk about Macs from the ordinary user's point of view or c) just plain accept the fact that "I have Tiger and you don't. Nyah Nyah N-Nyah Nyah".
I suggest you go with the third because if you try the first two, I will ignore you as I am weary of listening to cribbing Windows users. In the past four years, many of these cribbing Windows users have gone on to buy Macs themselves (including my very own brother).
Now I've just gone over the last few paragraphs and seen how utterly pointless they are. So I'll leave you with this little picture, which is linked to the official Apple website for Mac OS X.
The Tale of a Game of Age of Empires
There exists in SEx (South Extension Part II, for the uninitiated), something known as "Reliance Web World" which happens to be a great place for gaming escapades. Maanick Nangia (Hon. Sir Altitude), one Abhishek Jha and I (Empéror) proceeded to the aforementioned premises and had a highly entertaining game of Age of Empires II: The Conquerors for about ninety minutes. Herein follows the tale of the game.
At 5.30pm, this game of Regicide began. A game of Regicide is unique in the way that each player has a King (with 75 hit points) who moves rather fast and is usually garrisoned inside the Castle, which is provided pre-built at the beginning of the game (regardless of the Age in which the game begins).
This was a game that is generally known as FFA in the AoE circles, and expands to "Free for All", which basically means that everyone's your enemy and you're everyone's enemy. So kill, slaughter and plunder!... if you have the means to do so. For the sake of description, I was blue, Sir Alt. was red and the other guy was green. Now the problem with an FFA is usually trickery, in that one may ally (informally) with another player and beat to pulp the third, and later the two can wade it out between themselves.
Before proceeding to narrate the plan of action, I must also tell you a few other important facts such as the map. Now, I think this map is called Rivers, because it consisted of three big lands, for each of us, split up with the aid of three narrow rivers (or one long river and one tributary). What this meant for us was that there was going to be major land combat but also quite a bit of treachery by naval forces. There were also five relics, as always there are. I took three of them by cunning and deceit while Red (Sir Alt.) got the remaining two. Relics give you a continuous supply of gold when you keep them in your Monastery, and the rate depends upon the number of relics.
Now, in the beginning, and for a long time thereafter the green guy had the highest score, and I the next. So, it was I who took it upon myself to go and get the green guy, as he posed to be the strongest threat to mankind at the moment. The green guy had, instead of occupying the entire island as his own, walled off a rather large area as his City but maintained control over the rest. I find this walling off bit a rather trying endeavour and rarely embark upon it. Of course, since he had the highest score I knew he would prove to be a stern foe, and so he was. Tens of my best Paladins, mounted Archers, Halberdiers, Tarkans (for Hun I was), three Monks and one Trebuchet were consumed in the battle of the Green fields. After a long siege upon four guarded castles and killing plenty of those Plumed Archers, I persuaded his King to abdicate. The King didn’t seem to resist a lot as he happened to be hiding in a Transport Ship in a lonely corner of the Map.
However, even though I secured victory against Green, and indeed while defeating him set up quite a military base in the Green kingdom, I was weakened. Gold supplies were running low as all the mines had been exhausted and my soldiers were not unhurt and neither were they many. Now Sir Alt. (Red) attacked from the West. I rallied my forces for they were too far North and came just in time to fend off his first blow and send him back to the abyss. Then I quickly transferred my King up North to the recently conquered Green kingdom and garrisoned him in one of the two castles. I knew that Red’s second assault would be great and the first (which was great enough) was only a test of my strength. And so it was that when the second came, it tore through my kingdom like Sauron did at Osgiliath and I escaped Northwards to my military base in the Green kingdom.
But now I knew that it was going to get ugly. My only source of Gold – the relics – was taken away. On top of that, I saw a message that surprised both Maanick and me. It said that I had 350 years to destroy Red’s Monastery or else he would win the game. We’d overlooked the fact that the game was not a Conquest one, but was in fact Standard. Victory could be achieved by vanquishing all foes, by capturing all relics or by building a Wonder. “Arghh” is what I said at the moment, I believe.
Anyway, the only thing left for me was to flee and try to kill his King. I shifted to the extreme North and built a Dock. With five Transport Ships I moved to his kingdom in the West and North and built a castle there. There, I garrisoned my King. But... his outpost caught sight of my armies and though I destroyed it, like Sauron now, his gaze came whizzing back to his own lands and he diverted all of his armies there. In retrospect, I believe I shouldn’t have shifted my King to his land. His first blow I again fended off, and I went myself and killed a few of his people. But then he came with a mighty blow, and I was caught as between hammer and anvil. Castle destroyed, King dead. I lost the game. Nope, there aren’t always a Frodo and Sam to save the day. Not even a Gollum.
Aurojit,
at
1:25 am, May 01, 2005
